i want to write about how i realized that i am completely scared of being in a relationship with someone that i have to look at every day. no matter how i look at it, it constantly seems like i am better off without it. and perhaps this will always be some kind of curse for me, and is the reason why i am always developing crushes on people who i will never be in a relationship with because i simply cant for one reason or another. i write about these things too much, so i will stop there.


i officiallyofficiallyofficially do not work for the united states government anymore.
it feels good.

i am getting over some things.
that feels good too.

i applied for a job at the senate house and i really hope i get it.
i know its probably false hope, but i think i have an alright chance?
my eighth great grandfather built the dang place!

there are a lot of things coming up for me to be excited about. still, something feels like it is missing. i just dont know what it is. i hope i find it soon.

xo